Kielbasa and potato’s and peas and soy beans in their pods. That last one was an accident, I meant to buy soy beans just loose but misread the package
Anyway. The potatoes didn’t cook, they were supposed to be cut into slices and I did not do that. Also I put several spices in that I probably shouldn’t have. It tastes kinda awful
One really neat thing about Discord is it tells you when people are online. That way you know when they’ll actually see your text! I appreciate that. I think more of my friends should get discord so we can text but in an easier way, like you can type with a keyboard on discord!! So much easier than typing on a phone and so much better for your back too…
Showed up at a meeting, the teacher was late and not me. Very validating
I really want to learn how to cook Asian food. Like stir frys, miso soup, chicken or veggies with Asian seasoning. I haven’t really had anything like curry or whatever in ages. There’s gotta be a way to make smaller portion sizes so I don’t get sick of everything I make…
Several epiphanies I’ve had recently… people think differently from me! They value different things. 🤯🤯 that’s good, I suppose. And it explains why people so often struggle to understand why others like them — different values.
It was warm enough today for me to go out without my heavy duty coat. It was SO NICE looking nice outside for onceaqq
I GOT IN! I needed another class so that I would qualify for the college counseling center and I talked with a religion teacher about joining his class and he said yes! And the class is pretty easy, and I should be able to catch up really quick. It's just readings and discussions which are like. my favorite!! I went home and I made myself a tuna salad croissant sandwich to celebrate and it was delicious
went to a minute to win it competition. missed the first game but won most of the others. except the one where you have to get an oreo from your forehead into your mouth without hands, I never have done that and likely never will. Every win gives you a spin of their prize wheel and I came home with a ridiculously large quantity of candy. And two microwave popcorn packets.
I like competition, especially when I manage to win... although it was a bit awkward. Winning makes me feel awkward, I don't ever want to make people feel bad. But it makes me so excited! But I can't help but feel like being excited will come off as bragging or bad taste or smth
Went shopping at 10 to get incredients for meals. Believe it or not I think it was actually good for me. Hopefully the meals turn out, I’m trying some new recipes.
This is officially the 101st post. I have officially posted 100 things on this blog… how funky is that. That’s like. Three months if I posted every day, which I guess makes sense since I posted for a full semester and then it’s a few weeks into this one now
But yeah
🍰🍰🍰
Just did our first FHE activity and it was a success!! *Fist pumps air*
Guy I like keeps offering to set me up with other people ಠ_ಠ bruhhhhh
Finally finally got a piece of writing done on time. Is it good? No. But I did a little dance and took a walk outside in celebration anyway, because we are proud of ourselves in this house!!
Writing idea: what if instead of a hunger games au where you take a bunch of normal people and make them fight for their lives for sport, you did a Mario Kart au where a bunch of traumatized people are forced into pleasantly wholesome content? Where death isn’t real, you just spin around a little, and even if you hate someone’s guts in real life you gotta pretend like you’re best friends with them in this weird magical ceasefire realm
Dude I haven’t seen a single Panera Vreae around here and it is SAD. I want soup is that so much to ask
Discovering that stickers are very fun, yes I did just plunk a pink Lucio onto whatever you just said what about it. I can make stickers of my own characters too. Woe Galen Be Upon Ye vibes
winter semester has multiple university holidays. It’s GREAT and they’re always on Monday and it’s just. Very nice
Went to therapy 💯💯
Bought a sandwich. Lost it on the way out to the car. No idea how. I’m sad now
Hopefully on track to try some meds? We shall see
Need prayers. Trying to get into a religion class late, I need authorization. Getting more credits will allow me to access therapy services which would be amazing
Question people answered in Thrive: “would you rather be an elephant or a mouse? Why? Comment below :))
- I cut my finger while cutting apples and now it’s bleeding but only a little bit and it doesn’t hurt >.>
- idk why that’s bold. Blogger has lots of issues I don’t care to question it
- figured out recently that if I’m really feeling stir crazy it can help to get a bunch of paper and rip it into strips. Idk gives me something tangible to do w my hands that also has the auditory element.
- maybe I will write things im grateful for on the strips. That could be fun
- big hero six! Fun movie. I thought the aesthetics were good and it was funny but the actual plot points were kinda meh
SPOILERS BELOW
bruh. I could tell the brother was gonna die. As SOON as the fire started and he stared at it I was like GREAT the brother is gonna die
the gang is fun. They’re like. Fun but also definitely nerds and I appreciate that. And they aren’t just nerds, they actually seemed like a fairly chill group of people who also happen to be really good at science
The design of the villain was incredibly meh. I mean the bots are cool but why are they carrying the dude around like he’s Lord Business?? “It’s limited only by your imagination” yeah, and apparently this villain isn’t very imaginative. Just using it to punch people? Where’s the fun in that??
And. The twist. Bruhh. I didn’t see it coming but honestly why would a respectable scientist go to the trouble of becoming a microbot super villain when he could exact his revenge in so many much simpler ways?? It feels over the top?? Idk I was expecting Mr. Krei to use the bots to augment some other kind of technology, that has much worse consequences. Next to that, one dude making bots in a warehouse and then using it to harass a bunch of kids and then almost vacuum up a section of the city with some OTHER GUYS PORTAL seems.. idk.
And like, he was fighting his own students this whole time. What, no recognition or acknowledgement? It makes sense but it isn’t very cool.
I wish the guy had a better relationship with his mom. He should have at least told her about Baymax even if he didn’t tell her about the other stuff? The lying and avoiding made sense but I think she should have seen through it because he’s being really transparent and I don’t like oblivious parents when they could be more involved.
It’s pronounced maracas btw
Things are ok. Had a bad mental health day. Recovered. All is not lost. Went to class. Took a walk, went to the temple. Highly recommend the temple.
Trying some new foods — I saw some ground turkey that was marked down so I just brought two pounds of it home. Cooked half, froze the other half. It’s good to have meat on hand, I can only eat cottage cheese and hummus for so long before I want to scream a little bit
My little fluffy goat stuffie has been chilling in the common area for a while — it’s decoration! At some point I should perhaps name it
Missed a physical and a therapy appointment on Tuesday (the bad mental health day) but they’re both rescheduled now and I set an alarm to make sure I wouldn’t forget again.
Creative writing class is coming along nicely! I enjoy it and it’s fun seeing other people’s writing… we’ll see if it actually improves my writing at all, though. All of our submitted writing gets critiqued.by peers, they HAVE to suggest feedback. A lot of times the feedback I get isn’t the most helpful, though? It’s too vague
Getting the itch to try something new, but not sure what. New character? New board game? Not sure.
A roommate’s boyfriend left a Wii at our place, and he said I could use it, so I’ve been learning how to play Wii Mario kart. It’s hard!! It got easier, though, once I figured out how to turn off tilt controls.
Ward activity hosted today, for FHE groups to go to: a bonfire in some back corner of the Wilds around campus. They gave us a random Google maps pin and we had to just kinda sus out for ourselves how to get through the dirt network of roads. Except the first two pins they sent were the wrong pin so we spent quite a while driving around confused.
Just one roommate and I -- many of my roommates didn't seem too interested in FHE. I don't know if that will change. I hope it will. But this new roommate was willing to come to activities at least, and she didn't mind getting lost either, so we had a fun time speculating about getting eaten by werewolves.
It was really dark out there, and foggy? or dusty. We couldn't see very far in any direction, except for distant car lights of other people who were also lost and trying to find the activitiy. We eventually found it. It was cold, but not too bad as long as you stay close to the fire. I didn't talk much, but I'm glad I went. We listened to Queen on the way home and that was fun.
If you read this sentence, comment below with your favorite way to eat Brussels sprouts (you can’t say “I don’t like them.” Even if you hate them there’s gotta be one way to eat them that you hate less than the others)
Another school day. It’s not as hellishly cold as it was last semester which is very very nice
- last glove is officially lost. We have graduated to wearing socks on our hands
- perfect V of honking geese flew by overhead as I walked to one class. It was a sight but more than that it was a SOUND
- right now I don’t even have both classes meeting! Creative writing meets as usual but the teacher for PolySci had a conference and both class meetings of the week were cancelled. Legit I only have two hours of class in the whole week
- managed to turn in first wave of creative writing!! Two poems. I need to work on writing more stuff to keep up, maybe I’ll go find a set of writing prompts or something? I need to not let perfectionism get in the way here 😬
- first clean check of the semester! I’m not worried.
- it’s… weird. The friend situation. I have friends but most of them are long distance or only communicate via email. There isn’t really anybody who lives nearby I feel comfortable hanging out with besides this one guy but he’s a guy so that makes it hard
- both of my good friends are now on missions. Maybe I should just go on a mission so that when I get back they’ll be back as well. And we can be boring RMs together
- a classmate said that he’s able to handle a much larger courseload now that he’s married and that makes ZERO sense to me. You’re telling me that you have another person living with you that you have to devote social energy to and this makes it EASIER to do school? Not only do you have to do school but you also have to keep your living space organized and take showers on occasion because there’s a person around who could be uncomfortable if you didn’t???? WHY
- (I know why. Most people find social things relaxing and see them as a break from “hard stuff”. For me, social things are another task of many that ALSO takes energy. Different brain —> different view of marriage and energy)
- frustrating to not have any new ideas for stories or character stuff. Real life has made me less brainrotted but this also means it’s hard to think of cool stuff… and cool stuff is pretty much the only way I interact with people, is telling them abt my stuff. So if I have no stuff… how do I talk with people???
today is Count Lucio’s birthday and legit I’ve been looking forward to it since the beginning of the year. So I got stuff to make banana cream pie in advance and I didn’t have any classes today so I slept in too, until 11!!
Stuff I did to celebrate
- went to a party supply store and got a bunch of shiny gold decor. Put it up in my room, so now my room is less dull and depressing!! Also got a little birthday balloon for the occasion
- put together a fun activity on the Minecraft server for my family and I. Decorated the locale, got a campfire and logs and red carpet!! It took several hours, with my brother’s help, to put it all together because we needed cake and cookies and outfits (gold armor was REQUIRED) and a bunch of fireworks because it’s Lucio and we need to celebrate loudly and explosively!!!!
- next time I will probably add things. Maybe a challenge: get as many white animals in the time allotted as possible. Or maybe we’ll do it in the Nether, for Devil vibes, and dare each other to do stupid things. Or maybe each of us have a “deal” that we have to fulfill by a certain time period, otherwise you suffer a certain consequence?? Hmmm
- made banana cream pie and set up a light therapy lamp that I’ve been meaning to set up for quite a while (whoops)
- all and all very nice day. I need to find a way to make next free day this nice lol
- I also went to devotional which was today (almost forgot but a roomie reminded me and I am grateful). Sat on the bottom floor, closer to the podium than usual. One of the opening songs was a spiritual called “I’ll live so God can use me” and. Idk, that’s a different way to look at it than most hymns I think
- the actual talk was about being welcoming and truly Christlike rather than just “nice”. Normalize telling strangers “I’m glad you’re here” in church!! It helps!!!!
Sunday! Ooof Sunday
Saturday also was not so fun. I suppose Sunday hasn’t been too bad yet
Saturday I woke up too early and spent long hours of the day in my room. This was not good for my health!
I DID make it to a board game meetup with friends which was a LOT of fun! We played for 2 and a half hours. It was amazing. In addition to the usual group of four, two of us invited a friend and that was nice ✨
We tried a game called “it’s obvious!” Or smth along those lines. People answer a question secretly, then the majority tries to ferret out who answered the “wrong” way. The vote was frequently tied lol but it was nevertheless a lot of fun! Favorite question i saw: “eat a cheezit off the street or a salad off the floor” surprisingly the vote was actually completely split
It’s wayyy cold now, enough that your hands get numb if you don’t wear gloves :|||| I currently have one single glove that isn’t lost so I just keep the other one stuffed in my pocket a lot
The poetry continues. What AM I doing with my life
Interesting thing I saw in my writing class: “writers like to write one thing and then stick to it! But you grow much more if you make yourself continue to generate new things rather than simply iterating on old things until they’re stale”
It’s good advice, I will try to follow it!
- fridays are now totally open for me! PolySci only meets monday and wednesday, and although Creative writing technically meets Friday, the work is on a discussion board and the teacher told us to just stay home and do the board online. SWEET
- apparently there's gonna be an electrical outage from 12 to 3 am tomorrow, for electrical maintainance. That's super cool! I never thought about the fact that people would need to maintain a power station and occasionally take it down but duh it makes sense. The funny thing to me is that probably half the population will still be AWAKE when they take it down. So we'll just be working in the dark I guess
- it is SO WEIRD to me that my main class right now is writing and I can submit (almost) anything I want. I'm sorry??? Like now I can do thinky things and it's schoolwork. Which is great, as long as it doesn't make me hate writing. But like. I can sit down and spend two hours thinking about Characters and it's actually productive now, which is blowing my mind.
me: finally gets on swtor to play after weeks of meaning to but not doing it
me: imma get some nice clothes for my new characters and play those!
two hours later: I am apparently writing poetry now. also, angst about the zakuul slave pits
(i still have not gotten the clothes. birb help me)
Second day of classes and we got Intro to Comm and University Choir today. I’m less enthusiastic about both, honestly. The intro to comm is at 7 am!!!! And it’s 1 credit but incredibly rigorous. If you miss or are late more than twice you get auto kicked from the class which uhhh. Even if I want to stay I might get kicked anyway haha
Choir is. I dunno. I like singing but I don’t necessarily want to do it fancily. Or sing in front of people. I mean I like singing in front of people but I’d rather sing on my own or in a small group, not in a choir. But I’m also not good enough at singing to actually do that haha
At any rate I mainly enjoy singing for its own sake and I can do that without paying a lot of money for a college class.
But bruh if I drop both classes then all I’ve got this whole semester is 4 credits and that’s nothing!! I’ll be bored to tears all day. So I suppose I could go get a job but bruhhh what job?
No I should probably get a job.
I hate job hunting so much.
Other fun things from the day
- walking in late as the intro to comm lecturer was sternly informing everyone that lateness will NOT be tolerated
- it was a huge lecture hall. Everyone saw me. It was funny
- hanging out in random lobbies afterward until noon
- popping by the school health center to set up therapy and also my first annuel doctor checkup away from home!!
- getting super depressed and getting snapped out of it by calling my mom
- the counselling center told me that there is “peer mentoring” where you can get help figuring out life stuff
- there’s also a faculty member assigned to help each student. My faculty member is my former religion teacher and I actually really like him so I will be setting up an appointment to get some advice for sure
- gonna go home and make some kale salad. And maybe try out the new family Minecraft server 👀
notes from the first day of the semester!
- "it's great to be in windowless rooms because then you don't have to see the sad dead winter outside" both teachers so far have said that, lol. I don't mind the grey and brown? but i'm weird
- people have ALSO said that we should have gotten TONS of snow by now, and it's weird that we've only gotten a few inches. Personally I am totally fine with this
- the writing class should be a lot nicer than I thought, initially. We have to submit a piece of writing every week but it can be literally anything you want (poetry fiction nonfiction etc.) as long as it's not plagiarizing ideas or characters that already exist (so no fanfiction) and it meets a certain length requirement. That is less scary than what I was expecting. I hope this class will be okay.
- intro to PoliSci doesn't seem too bad either, it's just a week dedicated to each specific field of PoliSci and what kind of jobs you can get in each field. So then if I really like a particular section, I might look into doing a major with that. I'm also doing intro to communications which will be much the same, most likely. Between the three hopefully I'll find something I like enough to do as a job? or a major. that's the thought
- it's so weird coming back to the same buildings and going to new classes and seeing new people. what the birb I thought I was done with this (im not. it's kinda breaking my brain that I have to do this 10+ more times)
day #230482 of break with yet another totally open day *depressed party horn noise*
well turns out i can write! that's weird but cool. is it good writing? not at all. but we're doing it. I feel like the way I'm writing is coming out significantly different from how normal people write but I can't quite figure out what it is that I'm missing/adding by accident??
i have like a bunch of ideas spinning around of stuff I want to do but I keep just kind of running back and forth BETWEEN the things not doing any of them. ooh i want to that one *runs toward it* wait what about that one *runs toward it* but I never actually get to anything long enough to stay and settle on it. it's making me feel mildly frenetic!
keep waking up early, which is good for school but not so good for mental health and such lol. I've been trying to get to bed earlier and the plus side is I usually start winding down at the correct time! the minus side is the "winding down" keeps getting away from me and then I end up going to bed an hour and a half late because I was scribbling in my little notebook.
for a while the thing that I struggled with was having too little ideas or story things but now I'm working on stories that have like a bunch of moving parts and I'm like okay so I have this idea and this idea and this idea but I have no idea whether they're all from the same puzzle or not. am I making one story with these, or one story and multiple aus? or maybe I just have a bunch of pieces of stories but not enough to make anything coherent which means I'm still basically where I was at before...
plan for the day: try to go to the library and get a book or too. and read them, lol, because lots of times I get books and then don't read them and return them without having read them at all. whee
also probably do some school stuff that I have to do. maybe cook something. hopefully eat something wholesome.
and uhhh yeah. that's it that's the vibe of the day
you know im not doing so bad now i just had to get up and walk around and go somewhere I hadn't been and eat some food. and work on character things and talk with some people about the character things and stop feeling totally stuck on character things and walk around some more and find a place to work that isn't freezing cold and also my apartment
also i made an online friend today which I'm excited about. He likes to yap and his star wars lore thoughts make sense to me and also he has a lot of interest in music and so i asked for recommendations and the ones I've listened to so far are all ones I like which great! I don't get that very often that I share music taste with someone but usually if I do we also get along pretty well
and the yapping is nice. it's stressful trying to talk with people when they don't talk back and I can't tell if they like me at all
anyway here are some things I can do when I am bored, but like, actually and not depressing.
- learn greek with the greek textbook i still have lying around
- adult coloring book (will have to go buy one and some coloring supplies but that's ok)
- go run around the block
- walk to the grocery store and buy a banana to eat as i walk home
- walk to the grocery store and get stuff to make actual food. then go home and make the actual food
- walk to the library and get a book. then read the book somewhere that isn't my apartment
- homework lol
- pick a new band to try and listen to their music. write down the ones I really like/lyrics/what characters the songs remind me of
- i know i said this last post but CLEAN MY ROOM
- wash dishes
- do the laundry
- walk to the printer and print stuff to hang on the wall
- take the bus to walmart and just poke around for a bit. get push pins while I am there, so that I can hang things up that I like
- scriptures
- take a walk and say a prayer
- take a walk and listen to a conference talk
- go to the temple
- do family history and then go to the temple
- grab a friend and go to the temple together
- look for campus events to go to and then go to them
- watch a basketball game (that's the sport i hate watching the least i think)
- walk somewhere that isn't the apartment. bring a list of prompts with me. don't bring anything i could get distracted with. sit down and just write things until i'm tired or realize I forgot something important
- try to set up more calls with people I like, so that there is less free time to begin with and I also don't feel lonely all the time
- stay off stuff that makes me sad like Tumblr
- if possible find a way to filter out stuff i don't want to see so that I can find the good stuff, like posts from friends, without having to wade through bad stuff
- don't worry so much about filling time, school starts in two days. two days of crashing aren't great but they aren't world-ending either
- do stuff that I actually have to do before school starts, like send accommodation requests and decide if i want to drop classes and sign up for institute and check-in officially to my apartment
- watch doctor who
- go track down an adapter so that I can watch doctor who while exercising
- figure out my swtor subscription and start a jedi consular playthrough
- start learning the new video games that I just got off the steam sale
- start working on the CHARACTER CONCEPTS for the new video games I just got off the steam sale (roflllll)
- research the lore of said video games way too much
- not sure that that would be helpful to my mental health actually so maybe not
- go on a walk
- write an email to a missionary friend or maybe extended family
the school cafeteria building is very nice when there's nobody in it. I hung out there for at least three hours and walked the halls and everything and there was basically NO ONE except for some parents with their kids, probably trying to give them some time to stretch their legs and not be cooped up in the house
dogs need to be walked kids need to be walked and you know what I think I need to be walked too.
(if only I could write in a notebook while i walked that would be perfect)
Oh also I wore my new dress today and it looked nice. So there’s that.
classes start Wednesday? Or Tuesday. Something like that.
I didn’t recognize anyone at church today, but I think that was also cuz a bunch of people are still out of town. One of my friends is going on a mission though so I won’t see her for a WHILE
I’m doing REAL bad at managing my time. Thus, a list of stuff that I can do instead of self sabotaging pointlessly:
- cook food
- go on a walk
- clean my room
- do laundry
- read a book
- go to the library and get a book
- take a nap if I did not go to sleep at a smart hour
- go on a drive, just around town
- bang my head into the wall and THEN take a nap
- question life
- stare at homework wanting to do it and not having the energy
- cry
You know what I don’t think this is helping I just don’t feel like doing anything and I’m tired of roommates talking in languages I don’t understand it makes my brain hurt
maybe not super surprising but the days since getting home have been very very chill. Somewhat literally lol as the apartment continues to be very cold. It's not as cold as I thought it was, though -- it IS a little chilly in here but I was also very sleep deprived and sleep deprivation makes me feel chilly. Now that I've gotten more sleep and also exercised more, it's bearable.
it's not even that cold outside, either. as long as I put all my stuff on and keep moving it's again, very bearable! I walked to the grocery store a few days ago and that was nice.
mostly though I've been decompressing, working on art stuff. Even wrote a thing, which never happens. steam sale meant I was able to buy a lot of fancy new games for less than $5 which was great. I won't be playing most of them right now but it's good that I have them so that I don't have to pay up like $50 or whatever when I get bored in summer.
it's weird, though - I've been doing lots of *hand-wavy* things, like answering prompts and figuring out character details and stuff. but it's been a while since I've gotten any new story or anything which is a bit disappointing. It's hard to keep doing creative things when I haven't had new plot in a while. And there are a lot of people doing swtor-ish things in my online social circles which is cool, but I don't have any more stories I really want to do?
It was fun putting Galen through the Sith Warrior story, for example, but now I've been through that story and it's not new anymore. And the stories I have left to do - smuggler and trooper - aren't very good, or they're otherwise not to my taste. I've done the stories I like, lol. so now all that's left are the less good ones that I don't like.
Or i could switch universe. Find a new game and make characters for that.. but frankly I'm not really a fan of that, either. All the people and characters I like are already in the swtor universe, I don't want to leave!
Anywho. classes start in a few days. In the meantime, I chill. or sleep. or walk around campus. (just occured to me: I haven't been to a doctor or dentist in a while. how... does one get an appointment with that when one's parents aren't around to do it??)
yeah as exciting as it was to drive IN to the airport and then sleep there, I'd say the drive back was just as bad (good?). I got to the airport at 7:30 ish, and by the time I found economy parking, got the car working, figured out where I was going, got gas etc. it was 10 pm.
which, if you will recall, would feel like midnight TO ME. but nope, time change. so 2026 was still two hours away, and home even farther.
a friend randomly offered to let me stay at her parents' house so I didn't have to drive past midnight. Just like when my uncles offered last time, I did consider it, but then it didn't work out because of my own birbishness and also the ups and downs of Travel. I think the Travel gods are just against me (or for me, and have a cursed sense of humor?)
so I started driving and by 11:30 I felt so tired I had to pull over and take a little nap. it was cold enough that I didn't nap very long - the car started warm but within the hour had dropped to uncomfortable temperatures so I woke up at 12:30 ish and kept driving. At that point I really didn't want to bother my friend, since I figured she had stayed up until 12 and then would go to bed, so I just kept going.
It turned out that I could only drive for about 45 minutes before I'd get drowsy, so I just pulled over every 45 minutes and napped until the car got too cold, then got back up and kept driving. After the first nap I misplaced my glasses, so it was extra hard to keep my eyes open when there was nothing but blurry black and grey in front of me. The ADHD did Not Like That and kept checking out...
eventually, at around 4 am, I figured out that if I got behind another car and focused on their headlights, I could keep going much longer. So I drove the last two-ish hours tailing this one car (hopefully I didn't make them too uncomfortable or weird them out)...
then when I got to the apartments it was a whole thing trying to get the door code so I could actually get into the apartment. by this time it was 6:20 ish and not too cold! and at this point I'd been hazily driving so long that I didn't even feel that bad, I was just kinda used to it at this point? so I just looked up the door code on my laptop (not my phone because I had lost my phone about 10 minutes before) and went in and unpacked.
and I didn't really feel like sleeping? Like I was like "FINALLY I CAN SLEEP" but also the pace-y brain was like "no I don't want to lay in bed". I managed it though and slept two hours. it felt like eight.
other fun notes from the nightmare drive of doom:
- at some point I stopped bothering to turn the car off when I took naps. just parked in a gas station parking lot with the heat running and napped for an hour..
- put on my Character playlist. half the time the sleep-adled (IE very creative) brain was coming up with entire animatics to play along with the song. the other half the time I was fuming because a song came on that I liked a lot but now it's reminding me of Julian and I hate it.
- stopped by a gas station at like 4 in the morning, right before the homestretch. got food from their breakfast counter and it was pretty good for a $3 gas station taco.
- also got a dark chocolate Lindor ball in the hopes that the caffeine would help me stay away. debatable whether it actually did?
- I should keep chocolate or cocoa powder or something in my car, so that if this happens again, I can keep myself awake.
- yes I know I could have bought an energy drink. but frankly energy drinks scare me worse than alcohol or coffee and if I never drink one my whole life I don't think I'd be missing out.
so im back so thats neat
this blog is mainly for my family and I went to stay with them over break. didn't seem to be much point in updating a blog when everyone who reads it is chilling in the same house as me... and I was also just kinda busy in general. but i might go back and update things as I have time and or energy.
some general observations, though
- airports are much more fun once you've been through them once and know what to expect
- also just travel in general. executive function is okay for me as long as I've done it before and I know how to respond. the thing that really stresses me out and makes me lose energy is when I'm confronted with something and I don't have any established subroutine to apply to it. it's like the immune system, and illnesses, how the immune system takes longer to take a disease out if it has never encountered that disease before.
- i am specifically referring to tires. I had never once filled up tires using a gas station filler thingie until last night... so I spent most of the drive TO the airport two weeks ago freaking out about that. but then it ended up being totally fine, one tire was just getting flat.
- I think I'm good with people, and dealing with people, and then I have to live in the same house with them for several weeks and suddenly I'm like OHH. okay. nope.
- people are perfectly fine and managable but that's because I also can go home and be in my people-less room whenever I want. when I'm with family there isn't a single place in the area that is safe
- holiday break can burn you out just as much as an entire three months of school. It's a different kind of burn out, though, so it still helped me recover from school burnout. it's like cursed crop rotation.
