(but not at spreadsheets, that’s Sam’s job)
2/5 today, and I'm doing pretty ok.
Took a bunch of my poetry (not ALL of it. some of it's not as good and I'd be embarrassed to put it up) and made a poetry website account for them all. For recordkeeping, and also maybe someone will come along and decide they like my poems! Who knows
Some friends invited me for board games and pizza, I was very glad for that, although I didn't stay as long as they did (three hours, and they still wanted to keep going. hOW)
I went over to Sam's house, we chilled on her floor (very nice. She's going home and I'm going to miss her)
Yesterday was kinda iffy, I didn't have words and I really wanted to talk to people. I was pining for connection, I think, and I do believe the experience is kind of awful.
I can't keep up with Good Omens anymore. Season 3 is out, and I'm afraid of spoilers.
I think I want to learn landscape painting. People are okay, but I only really do it because I have characters and I want people to know what they look like. It's a necessity, a chore. But landscapes -- environments -- those are the good stuff. Places I can go, places I can be in. Right now, I don't have a car, and also the entire area is just farmland and desert. So. Escapism!
And, well. I didn't much care for writing when it was about plot, but I'm thinking now that I would like to write when it's expressing something about myself. Which is why poetry is the vibe right now. Poetry is taking things I don't know how to say and saying them. Writing books or whatever is... I dunno. I don't really care about the plot or most of the characters and it's hard to write stuff I don't care about.
I DO still want to learn DMing, though, even though it is boring. To paraphrase Nathan, all art is, at its heart, a bid for connection.
Poems are cool, except then I get worried that it sounds bad. I think it's cool when you can write an impressive or thought-provoking piece, but it's also nice to just write out your thoughts and emotions, who cares who reads it.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I agree with both! I talked about poetry specifically because I already write out all my thoughts in notebooks. All the time. I go through notebooks SO FAST so I guess I didn’t think to bring those up because it’s just routine to me.
DeleteAnd yeah, sometimes it IS nice to write stuff just for myself, but a lot of times I just really want to express it to other people, in a way that genuinely communicates my feelings. Trying to do it with regular words… often feels very inadequate