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 - cool day. especially because i keep thinking today is Saturday and it ISNT which means that I have a whole other day of weekend! look at thatttt

- very very ADHD today. scattered. trying to do lots of things but kept getting distracted from one thing or another etc. etc. etc. i discovered at least once that I accidentally ghosted someone right in the middle of a conversation because I got sidetracked doing something else. In the middle of the conversation.

- why are there always THINGS. can there not be things please

- did stuff with my friend. we got acai bowls! there's a place where you order a bowl and they let you put all the toppings you can fit in the bowl in, free of charge. I got my friend to order and only changed a couple of things, and it was really tasty. lots of weird things in it that I've never had before. ate half of it there and saved half of it for later. HIGHLY RECOMMEND it's like frozen yogurt but healthier (and more expensive lol)

- I also walked with her to a couple of her other appointments because I wanted to keep hanging out! so we went to pick up meds and then walked to her on-campus job. Then i went home and did a bit of Old Republic, and did some art, and answered some asks... then my friend and her sister showed up randomly so we went to Walmart and bought supplies for pies. because Pi Day is tomorrow. So I made a chicken pot pie and it turned out really good! I LOVE chicken pot pie and I should definitely make it more often.

- usually game night is just whatever games we choose from the shelf of games, but tonight I brought One Night Werewolf and also Crown of Elfhame, which I brought to college and was really hoping to play. There was.... a LOT of teasing about the art. But we had fun, I think. And One Night was good too

- other pies brought: strawberry cream pie from Walmart, and homemade salted caramel pretzal pie. As per usual, they were both WAY too sweet for me, but I got a bite or two of both and enjoyed them. Especially the caramel one. The salt was a bit much but the caramel was really good and apparently the crust was made of pretzals??? which is the COOLEST thing

- took a nap with my roommate's cat. literally the most adorable thing to ever exist. I was SO happy. Cats. they are angels on earth  

brooklyn 99 (is a show i've never seen and know nothing about)

 - keep finding pretty pinecones around. i have decided to label them with what significant thing happened that day. so far I have two and I plan to accumulate more Important Items so that eventually I have a whole history's worth of stuff. of course i'll have to actually remember to label them and tie the strings and things... but that's ok.

- SO MUCH COOL ART THINGS. On Together is doing amazing things for my productivity. I made headway with a short story, finished an art piece for my friend Cato's birthday, did my laundry, and exercised a bit. sdlkfjsdlfkj i hope it continues to be helpful in the future but we'll see

- writing this 45 minutes after taking my sleep meds. feeling very drowsy. probably should just go to sleep

- beautiful day outside

- made tortilla lime soup, but there wasn't any chicken so i just put in some extra noodles. maybe not the best idea, spaghetti noodles are hard to eat in a dignified way

- there were some adorable pigeons hanging out under the eaves of the grocery store. the softest little "hoot hoot" noises. Took a video. Animals are so cool when I don't scare them away 

Just you know. Hanging out in an empty hallway

 The sheer number of paintings all over campus is… crazy. There are so many. I’m in a random back cooridor that very few people ever go through and there are paintings hung up on the wall… whoever made that decision, I am grateful to them. Art is awesome

Finally getting around to reading my friend Nathen’s very long book series he’s writing. Very cool, very lore heavy. He wanted me to go through and provide feedback, and I was doing it but it is VERY long. So I kinda ran out of steam in the middle of the third book

However! We are doing it again now. Right now I’m waiting for a class to start and I was reading that, before I decided to take a break and write up this post.

I think I would like leaves on the walls of my room. Fake yellow leaves, like a network or lattice of ivy going up the wall. And it’s yellow. I like yellow in a room, I want my future bedroom to be yellow and gold. Yellow is the color of creativity, after all

Life hack: if you see someone you like and want to talk to but you don’t know what to say or how to not be weird… set up a weekly thing to do together. If you can find a way to go to a class together or go to D&D or whatever… then it’s wayyyy easier to talk. Or... offer to give them a ride if they need one, because then they’re trapped in the car with you!!

Current songs stuck in my head: Pandora’s Box by Marina, and Paladin Strait by 21 Pilots

and the rain stopped falling

 day one of new meds... again...

now we're off the antipressants AND the ADHD meds because both of them were triggering episodes. We do not like this!! (we is me and my psychiatrist, who I met with three weeks ahead of schedule yesterday because I was feeling so weird)

so. turns out the sudden wave of intense general anxiety I've been feeling the last few days was a second hypomanic episode. Suddenly a lot of things make sense (huge amounts of anxiety during the endowment, suddenly feeling really happy even though I'm also feeling physically terrible, suddenly having huge amounts of get-stuff-done energy even though I'm exhausted...)

I am now ON a mood stabilizer (long term) and also a short-term mood stabilizer that has a side effect of helping with sleep. I take that one right before bed and it basically just knocks me out within half an hour of taking it. Which is good because I have had trouble sleeping!

Things we're watching out for, now:

- depression or anxiety getting WORSE instead of better

- any physical issues that are strong enough to make functioning difficult, or severely impact quality of life

and yeah I've got another meeting with the psychiatrist (awesome dude. I recommend) in a week! 

the seas have gone dry

 - weird day. Very weird day

- got very very lost in the sauce yesterday. I think I forgot to eat. I woke up at 7 today feeling very very nauseous and also like I got run over by a truck. 

- like. Nauseous I THINK 

- yeah uh I forgot it was daylight savings time EW

Update, many hour later:

- today has been a Good Day

- making new friends!! A bunch. It is soooo fun having people who I like who I can hang out with!! This is such a new feeling and it makes me very happy. I feel like one of those sad characters who gets adopted by a friend group and realizes the Power of Friendship

- superrrr drowsy. But I hung out with some people I like, and then I laid down 

- “from Satan grasp he sets me free//and I shall live with joy and love” this lyric has a lot of meaning to me right now. There really is a lot of power in music. Music!!

- got with some online writing buddies and they encouraged me to write even though I thought it would be bad! That’s never happened before. It was amazing. People are so cool

- food situation is… ehh. I’ve lost my appetite. Not my favorite thing. 

what a beautiful morningggg

 Weird day. Very busy but spent a LOT of time in my room and it was odd.

Because the entire time I was working. I was doing actual stuff. Writing things. I must have spent at least three or four hours total just working on a fic outline, and writing answers to asks, and responding to friends’ posts that had come up in the day I was off social media. There was so much actual stuff to do!

And… it’s weird how much of it was people oriented. I talked with a relatively new online friend and texted for a good while. I got On Together and did that with a different friend. I spent the morning working on art for a third friend because his birthday is coming up and I wanted to make something for him. And, somewhere in the mix, I played a bit of Risk of Rain with my siblings.

What a wonderful world. Technology is so cool. I even ran around the block once during one of my On Together enforced breaks.

I think I was actually so engrossed in what I was doing that I forgot to eat for a good portion of the day. That was different.

and now a little bit from the sponsor of this video...

 

 

 

WHOA PICTURES!!! Rare occurrence

but BRUH I found this awesome Productivity Tool called On-Together. You make a little avatar and you spawn into a little server and then you just kinda hang out with other people who are also on the server. You can sit down at little work places and make your avatar do whatever you're doing. I met up with my maybe-friend-at-some-point-soon Drake and we both worked on writing. and planning. and then we both got up to eat food and drink water when the timer rang, and we changed our avatars to do a cute little eating food out of a bowl animation.

The entire thing is ADORABLE and it was really nice because there are some friends that I struggle to know how to just. Text them. So it's nice to be able to meet up (virtually) and do parallel work. This guy I've wanted to be friends with for AGES and I just was able to have a good conversation with him specifically because we did a thing together. And idk, there's something really comforting about how it looks.

I mean. Just look at them. They're sitting so close together and they look like such good friends :)))

 

So. On Together is on sale in the Steam Store RIGHT NOW. For $7. Go forth and get it so we may do little things together.