for someone really special

 aight here's the bad side of it

- left late. stressful. worried about getting there on time. Not sure how to talk to Eva because we'd never been on a roadtrip before. Otherwise the drive in wasn't bad.

- parking was a little stressful but I didn't need to worry so much -- the lot was nearly empty and super easy to check in to. we walked a few blocks to the conference center and got in line for our tickets. The line was long enough I could tell we had a fair chance of not getting in. That was ok with me, I knew from the start there would be a chance of that, and we'd left late. Oh well, in the meantime we can appreciate the scenery

- plus Eva loves plants so she was telling me lots of cool things about plants and getting really excited about various trees and such. I appreciated that, and it helped keep my mind off of the fact we were waiting in a very long line.

- didn't get tickets, got put in the old tabernacle instead. not my favorite thing, especially because I got separated from Eva and that was stressful to figure out. We found each other but then ended up going outside. Part of it was because there were a LOT of people and I think Eva was anxious about that but also because the Tabernacle was stuffy and warm and I didn't really want to be there either.

- didn't bring anything to eat, because food isn't allowed in the conference center... that was a mistake. We were very hungry by the end of the session. Walked back, admired the different buildings and people we passed. Had some time to burn before our next appointment so I went exploring and found a cool mall right by the parking lot! bought a little piece of a geode. that was really cool. still kinda worried about Eva, couldn't tell if she was doing well or not. it stresses me out when I don't know.

- had fun with Taryn! gelato :)) provo is pretty. but there was also a bit of a scary bit where we didn't know where Eva was. Turned out she was just in the bathroom and there was nothing to worry about lol but that was definitely not the most fun ten minutes of my life

-  also we left from that a little late too. we did a lot of cool things but I think more things than I had energy for, so by the end of that I was a bit burned out :'(

 

- next day! food was good but also we left WAY too late. that was nerve-wracking. I also didn't quite know what to do with myself. Eventually settled with listening to music, crocheting, painting my nails. but there was a certain amount of uhhhh where do I sit what do I do. I feel out of place

- the hike had a lot of flies around. they buzzed all around us, landed on us, and bit our faces... not the best. Eva noticed more than I did -- I didn't realize they'd bitten me at all until after I was back in the car. Also I think I got a little sunburned. the trail didn't have any shade lol

- Eva drove the car harder than I do, and that stressed me out. Irrationally, of course. but there was a hairy bit where I asked her to drive because my nerves were kinda worn thin and I was a little tired and wanted to rest, except I could hear the engine and it didn't sound right and that strESSED me out. I tried my best to ignore it buuut

- then the car started having serious issues when we got to Eva's sister's place. Issues almost exactly the same to the ones we had when we initially drove that same car to college for the first time. And those issues were very stressful and delayed us a lot and so... yeah. Just too much. Too much stress. Had an emotional breakdown. that was fun

- car was fixed pretty easily but it still took me like an hour to get back to feeling relatively ok and even then I cried in the car several times. Also didn't help how tired I was! grabbed a Mountain Dew Kickstart to help me stay awake and it was quite good! Very appreciative that those exist. Less sugar, slightly more caffeine. Now we just need someone to invent caffeinated juice/sparkling water and we'll be set for life

- got home. still feeling bad. stopped at Sam's place and cried a bit. felt better, went home, got some sleep. still glad I went but BOY that was rough