titles are hard

 Used these to make a cheese tuna bean wrap. Quite a good combination! Not sure why I ever felt the need to make quesadillas when I could just roll the whole thing up and put it in a microwave

Anyway have this meditation on legumes 

more thoughts because I can't stop yapping for some reason (it probably has something to do with when I went to bed)

 - heels. HEEEELS. They are amazing and I love them. I also won't wear them. It's killing me because I love the idea of heels! however they simply Do Not Fit The Vibe. I really really want a friend who will wear heels. The unfortunate thing is most people don't appreciate you requesting they wear stuff because you think it looks cool. 

My dream is to one day get a friend who will let me dress them up with stuff I can't wear myself. Like a human barbie doll? I don't wear dresses or heels or jewelry so please let me impose them onto you :)) 

this is also what characters are for. draw the characters. give them the heels they don't care they're fictional 

- there's a bonsai tree making event today and it costs $25. that is a lot. Bonsai trees are ADORABLE. I'm pretty sure they're actually the only plant I'd ever consider keeping alive. Hmmmmmmmmmm hard decision

- so many performances going on right now and it's killing me because it's also two weeks before finals and I have SO. MUCH. HOMEWORK. but organ recital! but jazz!!! garhghhg

 

 

december 5

 slush. slush EVERYWHERE. they put sand on the walkways and all that does is turn everything into mushy slippery slush. I wish it had stayed snow. Wore my tennis shoes to class today and that was a MISTAKE

cloudy out, slight fog settled over thr whole place. everything is tinged white, except for the ground which IS white. beautiful. would like it a whole lot more if not for the aforementioned slippage

 conversation in Greek class sparked some thoughts. highest paying campus job is $15 dollars an hour. I mentioned that is minimum wage in my home state. Sparked a debate about how to deal with stuff being expensive/how to manage the economy.

One guy mentioned that in california, fast food workers get something crazy an hour (he said $22. not sure how right that is), but also the food is way more expensive. Mentioned how people don't think about how paying employees more will also raise the prices of stuff. My thought? Maybe that's okay?? Maybe people who prepare the food should be paid for their work? The labor movement has always depended on how much of their own comfort and money people are willing to put towards supporting minimum wage workers. If most care more about cheap products and don't care how that is achieved? Employers will win that fight 9 times out of 10

Watched a video analysis of the Lorax movie that echoed this sentiment. "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot it's not going to get better. It's not" was NOT directed at the companies or the government. It's directed at the public. Companies do what people pay for, the government does what people vote for. So the public being ok with destruction of the environment, or unethical labor practices, or whatever, enables those bad things to happen. 

Another thing - as mentioned by Mosiah in the Book of Mormon, democracy (and capitalism) is based fundamentally on the people and the market. Which means that people can change a bad situation, but it also means that if there IS a bad situation, the people/consumers are also partially or completely responsible. Yes there are cases when a company or government goes against what the people want, and then there are other problems. But many times people blame the government or companies for something when they're really just enacting what the majority wants.

 

in other news! had a story idea. actually have enough details I could probably write something, albeit badly. not sure if anyone would read it. the premise is pretty dumb and I'm not good at writing. ergo.. I will enjoy it, but I'm not sure anyone ELSE who would--

we shall see. if I have energy, I fully plan on making this everyone's problem (just you wait after saying that I'm probably not going to touch it ever again)

Tumblr has an "askbox" where anyone can pop in and ask a question, and I can post my answer to it accordingly. maybe I should make a "pinned post" of sorts that lets people ask stuff. ehh probably wont but we can dream

names are naming at least. i've got a new character and I really really like her. more at 11 (oh wait. 11 was 20 min ago) 

December 4

 - Going to channel dumbledore and say a few words: “blibby blobby bobby dooble”

- some really profound stuff in my religion class: spirit prison doesn’t last forever, all people will be resurrected eventually (with vanishingly few exceptions) and find some variety of happiness.

 This is something that I think about a lot already - some of the character stuff I care the most about is the thought of a character who has been through a lot or is stuck in their own self defeating cycle, but is able to break out of it. 

I enjoy tragedy because it is easier to get right - entropy is natural. But I enjoy happy endings even better when they are well executed. The tricky bit is setting up a character in a truly hopeless situation and then getting them out… without copouts or deus ex machina. This is why I often don’t like endings, and also why I work so hard to create them myself. They are one of the few things I think I could potentially get more right than the source material…

- my apartment is so utterly clean it feels uninhabited. Especially with Christmas fast approaching… maybe one day I will have a burst of energy and decorate it?

- learned how to read files, like csv or txt, using a program. That was funky. I’ve never done that before, and I get the sense that being able to read files will greatly expand what I’m able to do with a program. Coding really thrives when it has a lot of data to work with and use, and reading files allows you to get that needed data without prompting a user to enter all the stuff themselves…

- dudeeeeee faces are hard. Why are faces so hard I am deceasing slowly (this is one of two moods. The other mood is jumping up and down because I just drew that and birbbb it looks amazing)

- roommate continues to put pots full of food in the sink and leave them or dump all the food down the drain, even after doing that exact thing clogged the garbage disposal. Just… why???

- guardians of the galaxy feels like the first avengers, but in space. I like it! Weird how even though it looks like Star Wars, it FEELS like a superhero movie…

Side note:  I like Gamora. I like Peter Quill! But dudeee she could do so much better than him 🤨 

*vergil face*

 im sorry WHAT

December 3

 - sink is FINALLY FIXED THANK GOODNESS

- maintenance guy comes in. roommate explains that garbage disposal is broken. maintainance guy flips the switch, works just fine. problem solved (according to the roommate. I wasn't there)

- steadily chipping away at my Greek homework. 20 missing assignments!! Very very thankful for body doubling (look it up!) and study sessions with friends but the pile of homework is still very very daunting guhhhh

- working on faces and figure drawing. every single time I start trying to draw something I am not familiar with it humbles me lol because I have to relearn the entire process

-  found some brioche at the store for $2. Very happy with myself

- went to see Julius Caesar. Tickets were sold out. Rescheduled for next Wednesday. Worked on a art thing i was stuck on for about two hours in the waiting area and got a breakthrough so it wasn't a total wash (though I probably should have been doing homework lol)

december 1 (wat)

 - i love how winter looks. the fog that cars make with their exhaust, the color scheme of everything, the way lights and colors suddenly pop out because there isn't so much GREEN anymore to distract from it. if the sky is blue then it looks absolutely gorgeous and if it's overcast then it makes the whole place feel like The Christmas Carol. i just wish it wasn't so gosh bIRBING cold

- heard there was a cookie decorating activity. showed up, turns out it's for FHE groups and they're giving the supplies out in kits big enough for at least eight people. that was disappointing

- was productive for a good portion of the day. at some point looked around and was like. now what. i've done all the things I have energy for and I've still got like 6-8 hours left in the day. what do i do with myself 

- once I start doing fun stuff I am basically permanently out of work mode, at least until tomorrow. but if I can't do fun stuff and I'm tired of doing work stuff, or bored, or can't do it right now? idk there's got to be a secret third option I can do instead. research is ongoing we have high hopes of a breakthrough any day now

- started watching guardians of the galaxy. was not really expecting what i got lol. will be slightly pissed off if the main dude gets with the singular female character. birbbbbb (really liked the tunes though. I too enjoy playing catchy outdated music as I waltz through the inherent hazards of life. vibes so far are actually quite similar to DADHAT except the gang meets in the prison instead of getting rounded up later